Understanding a topic as broad and complex as sexual violence is not easy; however, we must commit to educating ourselves and others on the topic if it is something we wish to change. Oftentimes, common interpretations of terms and movements related to the topic of sexual violence are far from reality. Below, please find information on common terms and topics in relation to sexual violence.
To begin, we must understand that "sexual violence" and "gender-based violence" are overarching terms used to refer to various sex crimes. Sexual violence is a term that includes all forms of gender-based violence, including:
- Sexual Assault
- Domestic or intimate partner violence
- Stalking
As our understanding of these crimes increases, so does the list of topic-specific vocabulary used to discuss them. Below, find background and explanations on some of the terms and phrases commonly used to discuss sexual violence:
Domestic Violence
It's not always easy to tell if a relationship will become abusive; oftentimes, abusive partners seem caring and loving at the beginning of the relationship. As the relationship grows, emotionally and physically violent behaviors can begin to slowly emerge. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are dating, living together or are married. Regardless of your situation, it is not your fault.
Domestic violence can look different from abuser to abuser. If you feel emotionally, financially or physically abused, seek access help. According to The National Domestic Abuse Hotline, signs that your partner is abusive can include one or more of the following:
- Emotional Abuse – Isolating you from friends and family members, insulting and demeaning you, intimidating you, threatening you, telling you the abuse is your fault, cheating to intentionally hurt you or to prove that they are more desired or worthy than you, pressuring you to do anything you do not wish to do (sexual contact, using drugs and/or alcohol, etc.), becoming jealous of others you interact with or spend time with while away from your partner, and preventing you from doing things like working or attending school
- Financial Abuse – Strictly and unfairly controlling all of the household's money; denying you access to your paycheck; forbidding you to work or from making too much money; stealing money from you, your family, or your friends; living in your home but refusing to work or contribute to the household, or refusing to give you money to pay for necessities.
- Digital Abuse – Telling you who you can and cannot be friends with on social media, puts you down in their status updates, sending you negative messages, looking through your phone frequently and tagging you unkindly in picture on social media.
- Physical Abuse – Pulling your hair, preventing you from seeking medical attention, abandoning you in unfamiliar places, driving recklessly or dangerously when you are in the car with them, or forbidding you from eating or sleeping
According to The National Domestic Abuse Hotline, "abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner." With so many different forms of abuse, it is sometimes difficult to understand the tactics used by abusers to keep you in the relationship. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline uses the Power & Control Wheel (shown below) to describe what happens in abusive relationships, indicating that "while the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other subtler methods of abuse."